New Torture Methods Could Make Waterboarding Seem Like A Stroll In The Park

The military has at it's disposal interrogation methods so vile and harsh that Islamic terrorists around the world are demanding being subject to waterboarding and non stop Christina Aguilera music instead. These new techniques may be the reason for the recent report that American forces have routed Al Qaeda in Iraqi from every neighborhood of Baghdad.

The first technique, known as the Hillary Cackle, is so extreme that when played over and over again caused 10 out of 10 terrorists to spill the beans.

The Hillary Cackle


The second technique, The Hillary Nutcracker, is the harshest form of torture and has been used on tougher cases. One can only imagine the screams coming from Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

The Hillary Nutcracker