Joke Of The Day

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."

"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."

Ford Sales Strengthen, Automaker to Increase Production

So long, Government Motors!

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Citing better-than-expected sales and traffic at dealerships, Ford Motor Co. said Monday it plans to increase third-quarter production by 25,000 units, marking the automaker's second production hike in recent weeks.

Ford spokesman Mark Truby said that will bring total quarterly production to 485,000 units, a year-over-year increase of 16 percent or 67,000 units. Last month the company said it would raise third-quarter production by 42,000 units.

The boost affects all models of Ford, Lincoln, Mercury vehicles, with more emphasis being placed on Mustangs, pickup trucks and the Ford Focus compact car, Truby said.

"We had pretty well lowered production in recent quarters to meet demand," Truby said. "Now as we're seeing market share increases and showroom activity, we're ramping up production to meet that demand."

The increase comes as Ford's top sales analyst, George Pipas, said the company's June sales were "good" compared with the overall industry. The Dearborn, Mich.-based automaker could see a year-over-year decline of 10 to 20 percent, which could be the lowest among all major automakers, he said.

"This will be our lowest decline of this year," Pipas added.

Automakers, which are due to report June U.S. sales on Wednesday, have seen sales fall 37 percent over the first five months of the year. Pipas said U.S. auto sales may have halted their month-to-month declines in June and could be down less than 30 percent for the first time since September of last year.

As bad as it sounds, a decline of less than 30 percent could be a welcome relief, as automakers and suppliers have trimmed production and other costs to adjust to lower consumer sales.

"The important takeaway is that we're not going backward, we're not slipping back," said Pipas during a sales preview talk with reporters. "It suggests the worst is behind us, not just the economy, but we may have seen the low point for the year."

Pipas said individual regions of the country are showing sales improvements compared with June 2008, another sign that the auto market has bottomed out and is recovering. While sales in the Great Lakes states are improving, they're still slow in California and Florida, two areas hit hard by the decline in the housing market, Pipas said.

Pipas joined other industry analysts in predicting that June sales could surpass a 10 million seasonally-adjusted annual selling rate for the first time this year.

Last week J.D. Power and Associates predicted that automakers would sell 914,400 vehicles in June, 26 percent less than in June of last year and 1 percent lower than the 924,064 sold in May.

Pipas said May typically is a stronger sales month than June, but he was unsure if this June would surpass May figures.

He said federal "cash for clunkers" legislation recently signed into law could boost sales later in the year, and noted that consumer confidence is improving, suggesting that the worst is over with the economy and auto sales.

Shares for Ford rose 3 percent, or 17 cents, to close Monday at $5.78.

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Cap and Trade; a Solution to a Non-existent Problem with Devastating Consequences

This is definitely our must read of the day. We are being spoon fed this Cap & Trade scam by the must corrupt snake oil salesmen that ever held office. They should all be cellmates of Bernie Madoff.

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D.H. Lawrence said, ”Never trust the teller. Trust the tale.” But what happens if the tale is wrong? What happens if the teller knows or should know the tale is wrong? The key word is trust. A relationship must have trust. A society can only exist with trust. Political leaders can only succeed with trust. Trust cannot exist when an unnecessary end is reached by false means, which is happening with the US climate and energy policies.

An energy policy built on the lie that human CO2 is causing global warming is likely to fail. It is a bigger lie when CO2 is incorrectly called carbon. The policy is guaranteed to fail when proposed energy alternatives cannot fulfill needs and will cause economic slowdown, decreased competitiveness and further economic decay.

On June 26, the US House of Representatives passed a Bill titled the American Clean Energy and Security Act by a scant 219 to 212 votes. The title is misleading. It appeals to patriotism, which Samuel Johnson said is the last refuge of a scoundrel. “Clean Energy” really means without producing CO2, which incorrectly assumes it is a pollutant. Security means eliminating imported energy, but the nation is less secure with a weakened economy guaranteed under provisions of the Bill. It is more commonly, but equally incorrectly, called the Carbon Cap and Trade Bill. Carbon is not CO2 but this is only one of the deceptions. Hopefully, enough Senators will understand and reject the Bill when they vote in the fall.

President Obama frantically pushed his energy policy as resistance developed. He wrapped it in promises of green jobs; profits from industry creating renewable clean energy; a stop to “bubble or bust” economic cycles; and all at no cost to the taxpayers because “polluters” pay the bill.

His June 23 press conference had the following statement. ”This legislation will spark a clean energy transformation that will reduce our dependence on foreign oil and confront the carbon pollution that threatens our planet.”

The first two goals are possibly commendable but only necessary because of the last goal. How do you confront “carbon pollution”? What is it? At best it’s confusion about the science and at worst deliberately wrong. They’re the President’s words and his responsibility. He is aware of the impact of his words choosing them carefully when responding to questions. “Carbon pollution” is a result of politicizing climate. CO2 became carbon when “carbon credits” emerged from the Kyoto Accord. Its use expanded when evidence showed CO2 was not causing, nor ever caused, warming or climate change. It is incorrect.

A scientific definition of carbon is: the chemical element of atomic number 6, a nonmetal that has two main forms (diamond and graphite) and that also occurs in impure form in charcoal, soot, and coal.

The objective is to link CO2 with coal because it is seen as the devil itself. Witness Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) advocate James Hansen’s involvement with Greenpeace protesters on trial in the UK for damaging a coal burning plant.

Recently he was arrested protesting a coal processing plant in Southern West Virginia.

A scientific definition of carbon dioxide (CO2) is; a colorless, odorless gas produced by burning carbon and organic compounds and by respiration. So basically carbon is a solid and CO2 is a gas. They claim CO2 can slow heat escape from the atmosphere and an increase from human activity causes warming. It has not happened at any time and is not happening now. Carbon occurs as particles of soot in the atmosphere causing cooling by blocking sunlight. I expect them to blame soot for failure of their warming predictions.

On June 23 Obama said, ”This energy bill will create a set of incentives that will spur the development of new sources of energy, including wind, solar, and geothermal power”. These currently produce only 3.9 percent of US energy.

Wind and solar have severe limitations because they require 100 percent back up from conventional sources. They cannot replace a sufficient portion of current energy needs to supply even a dramatically reduced demand.

Obama’s said, “At a time of great fiscal challenges, this legislation is paid for by the polluters who currently emit the dangerous carbon emissions that contaminate the water we drink and pollute the air we breathe.” This is false. He incorrectly substitutes carbon for CO2 and it is not a pollutant for air or water; it occurs naturally in both. It’s true industries producing CO2 will initially pay through Cap and Trade but they will pass the costs to the consumer. A critical question is who pays when all the “polluters” are out of business?

Coal currently produces 46.8 percent of US energy. Obama identified it as his main target during the campaign. “What I’ve said is that we would put a cap-and-trade system in place that is more—that is as aggressive if not more aggressive than anybody else’s out there, so if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can, it’s just that it will bankrupt them because they’re going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that’s being emitted.” If they go out of business as Obama expects, the economy will collapse as industries dependent on the energy disappear. Ironically alternative energies will also suffer because the 100 percent backup they require will not be available.

Obama said, ”The nation that leads in the creation of a clean energy economy will be the nation that leads the 21st century’s global economy. That’s what this legislation seeks to achieve. It’s a bill that will open the door to a better future for this nation and that’s why I urge members of Congress to come together and pass it.” A recent study of this “green jobs strategy” shows it doesn’t work. Paul Bachman, Director of Research at the Beacon Hill Institute, one of the report’s authors wrote, “Contrary to the claims made in these studies, we found that the green job initiatives reviewed in each actually causes greater harm than good to the American economy and will cause growth to slow.”

Others have tried clean energy and green jobs without success, especially in Europe. Philippe Herzog, a French economist and founder of Confrontations Europe said, “We have not found a balance yet between the definition of European objectives [on climate change] and the implications for jobs.” The UK have already found out it doesn’t work. A study by Capgemini, a global energy consultancy firm claims that, “electricity generation has fallen to its lowest level in ten years. The shortage has been caused by the increase in the level of demand for energy combined with a growing tendency to build wind turbines, at the expense of other, more reliable, electricity sources”.

Spain was touted as the model because it led all countries in money and commitment to electricity from renewable energy. Spanish economics professor Gabriel Calzada calculates that, ”each new job entails the loss of 2.2 other jobs that are either lost or not created in other industries because of the political allocation --sub-optimum in terms of economic efficiency --of capital.”

A report from Britain about attempts to replace traditional energy with renewables notes, “Britain is already struggling to meet its ambitious target of supplying 10% of electricity needs from renewables by 2010 and 15% by 2015. Today’s figure is about 2%.” Once you realize the renewable strategy is not working how quickly can you recover?

The big question is whether the UK can act fast enough to tackle the looming crisis. Even if the government’s nuclear plans remain intact, it could be at least 10 years before the first new nuclear station is ready. A typical coal or gas-fired project could take between three and five years to construct.

Recovery potential is worse in the US because regulations extend construction time for nuclear plants and environmentalists will do everything to block coal plants. Meanwhile economies of these countries suffer even though they didn’t do anything as drastic as Obama proposes. Recovery can’t possibly occur within Obama’s first term, which may make it his last.

Will the Obama policy work any better? NO, because it is based on the same lie other countries used that CO2 is a problem and made worse by using deception of inaccurate scientific terminology. He then guarantees failure with policies that have already failed. So D. H. Lawrence was wrong in Obama’s case. You can’t trust the teller or the tale. There is no question Obama is clever but as Goethe said, “A clever man commits no minor blunders.” His climate and energy policies are blunders of devastating proportions.

Source...

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Cartoon Of The Day: Birds Of A Feather

Michael Jackson's Horrific Autopsy Results

Judging by the autopsy results, it is not Jackson’s death that was so tragic, but his life. This just goes to show that sleeping in a pure oxygen chamber and going out with a surgical mask on has absolutely no potential for elongating ones days on earth.

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An autopsy on Michael Jackson revealed that the King of Pop's emaciated body was riddled with needle marks and scars, and his head was virtually bald, it was reported today.

Jackson's body had wasted away to a mere 112 pounds, and his stomach was completely empty except for partially dissolved pills, according to the London Sun.

His hips, thighs and shoulders were covered with needle wounds, believed to have come from shots of painkillers, and he was wearing a wig when he was found because his hair had been reduced to a "peach fuzz" on his scalp, the report said.

"He was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out, and he had been eating nothing but pills when he died," a source close to the singer's entourage told the paper.

"Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show he'd been in terminal decline for some years."

There were four fresh injections around his heart, presumably from attempts to pump adrenaline into it to jumpstart it, the paper said.

Three of them had penetrated and damaged his heart wall, while a fourth struck his ribs, the paper reported.

He also sustained several broken ribs while authorities administered CPR during his final moments Thursday.

Jackson had one spot above his left ear that was scarred and completely bald - the apparent result of burns sustained when his hair caught fire while he was filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984.

He also had numerous other scars, apparently from plastic surgery.

In addition, he had mysterious bruises on his knees and shins and cuts on his back, possibly indicating a recent fall, the paper said.

Jackson has had two autopsies performed on him: one by the Los Angeles coroner and a private one requested by the family.

The details leaked came from the official autopsy. The Sun didn't say how it got the information.

Meanwhile, the cardiologist who was Jacko's private doctor and performed CPR on him did it the wrong way, a Jackson family confidant claimed yesterday.

Dr. Conrad Murray found Jacko on the floor in his rented Los Angeles mansion and put him in a bed, the source said.

Medical experts say that compressions for cardiopulmonary resuscitation must be performed on a hard surface.

"Michael was on the floor first, and they put him on the bed, and then started compressions on the bed," said the source, who had spoken to a Jackson relative. "What kind of doctor is that?"

In a transcript of the 911 call, the person seeking help says Jackson is "on the bed." The dispatcher says, "OK, let's get him down to the floor."

Edward Chernoff, a lawyer for Murray, yesterday said the doctor found Jackson in his bed with a faint pulse.

Chernoff told The Associated Press that Murray was at the pop icon's mansion Thursday afternoon when he discovered Jackson and immediately began administering CPR.

"He just happened to find him in his bed, and he wasn't breathing," the lawyer said. "Mr. Jackson was still warm and had a pulse."

Murray, who spoke to cops for three hours on Saturday, is a licensed MD and specializes in cardiology, although he is not board-certified.

Jackson hired Murray last month as he prepared for a grueling 50-date concert series in London that had been set to start in July.

Chernoff also said Murray never prescribed or gave Jackson the powerful painkillers Demerol or OxyContin. He denied reports suggesting Murray gave Jackson an injection of Demerol shortly before his death.

"Dr. Murray has never prescribed nor administered Demerol to Michael Jackson," Chernoff said. "Not ever. Not that day. Not OxyContin for that matter."

Source...

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Zen Teachings

Cartoon Of The Day: A.D.D. Nation

Top Gear - Bugatti Veyron Vs Mclaren F1

Richard Hammond and The Stig go head to head in a 1 mile drag race in the two fastest street legal cars ever made.

Obama’s Census to Castrate American Caucasians

One question... Why does the government need to know what time you leave for work?

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It’s invasive.
It’s corrupt.
It’s rigged.
It’s unconstitutional.

Its purpose is the legislative transformation of the United States of America into a land where conservatives, Christians, and Caucasians will become political castrados.

It is biased and prejudicial.

It serves to channel billions of dollars into bogus political action groups, such as Acorn.

It promotes gay rights and same-sex marriages.

It is a document that was not something drafted by the Berkley chapter of the Barbra Streisand Fan Club or the Alec Baldwin wing of the American Civil Liberties Union.

It is President Barack Obama’s 2010 Census Form.
The form asks if you have a house with running water, if you have a flush toilet, if you go to work by ferryboat or trolleycar, if you are mentally challenged, if you are of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin, and if you are a white, black, negro, African American, American Indian, Asian Indian, Chinese, Filipino, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Native Hawaiian, Guamanian or Chamorro, Samoan, Fijian, or Tongan

It asks if you have hot and cold running water, a sink with a faucet, a frigerator, a bathtub or shower, a stove or range, and a flush toilet.

It asks if you use coal, gas, oil, electricity, or solar energy to heat your home or apartment, if you are deaf or blind, if you are mentally challenged, if you have a physical disability, if you are employed, self-employed, or retired, if you have troubled dressing or bathing, if you have difficulty walking or climbing the stairs, and if you speak a language other than English at home.

It asks your income, your educational level, and the time you leave your home in the morning.

But infinitely more telling is what the new census form doesn’t ask.

It doesn’t ask if you are a citizen of the U.S.A., if you are an immigrant, or if you are a Muslim.

Naturally, the questions are in English and Spanish, lest anyone think that America is an Anglo nation. Many stand in violation of the Constitution which states that a national census should concern itself solely the number of individuals in a household.

For this reason, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann is refusing to answer the “very intricate” and “very personal” questions.

But there are problems with the Obama census beyond the intrusive nature of the comprehensive survey.

To assist in the hiring of census takers, the Obama Administration has opted to partner with the following special interest groups (not one of which represents the despised race of whites who settled this country):

• ACORN
• 100 Black Men of America
• African American Women‚Äôs House of Imagene (sic) Shelter
• American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee
• Arab American Institute
• Asian American Federation
• Asian American Justice Center
• Asian and Pacific Islander Coalition on HIV/AIDS
• Association of Professors and Scholars of Iranian Heritage
• Boat People SOS
• Hispanic Alliance for Prosperity Institute
• Hispanic Federation
• Fundacion Azteca
• Latino Justice PDLDEF
• Mas New Mexico
• Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund
• Minority Access
• National Alliance for Hispanic Health
• National Alliance of Black School Educators
• National American Indian Housing Council
• NAACP National Voter Fund
• NAACP (National Association of Colored People)
• National Association for Black Social Workers
• National Association of Colored Women‚Äôs Clubs
• National association of Hispanic Federal Executives
• National Association of Hispanic Publications
• National Association of Latino Elected Officials
• National Association of Negro Business and Professional Women‚Äôs Clubs
• National Black Chamber of Commerce
• National Black Child Development Institute
• National Black Justice Coalition
• National Black Leadership Forum
• National Coalition on Black Civic Participation
• National Congress of Black Women
• National Federation of Filipino American Associations
• National Hispanic Leadership Institute
• National Hispanic Business Information Clearinghouse
• National Latino Research Center
• National Minority AIDS Council
• National Puerto Rican Coalition
• National Puerto Rican Day Parade
• Rainbow Push Coalition
• U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce
• Voto Latino

Get the picture? Notice a racial bias?

These agencies will be paid millions in taxpayers’ dollars to assist the President in conducting the census and to make sure that all minorities are included in the official count.

Not one of the groups represents the despised race of white Europeans who settled this country and gave their sweat and blood to make it the most prosperous nation on earth.

Excluded from the list of census partners are such groups, as the American Legion, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the Daughters of the American Revolution, the Elks Clubs, the Rotary Clubs, the Moose Lodge, and, of course, the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick.

This racial bias inherent in the census has raised the concern that the results will be rigged - - a concern that has been intensified by Mr. Obama’s selection of Robert M. Groves, a sociology professor at the University of Michigan,

Republican legislators have expressed alarm because Mr. Groves’s specialty is statistical sampling — roughly speaking, the process of extrapolating from the numbers of people actually counted to arrive at estimates of those uncounted and, presumably, arriving at a realistic total.

If minorities, immigrants, the poor and the homeless are those most likely to be missed in an actual head count, as Mr. Grove presumably believes, and if political stereotypes hold true, then the statistical sampling of the 2010 census will produce a windfall for the Democrat Party.

This result is certain since the census results as gathered by the above groups coupled with Mr. Grove’s calculation of the missed head count will determine which states gains seats in Congress and which ones lose them, as well as the allocation of federal dollars to states and cities based on population.

The Obama budget serves to ensure that the United States will be broke.

His foreign policies will serve the cause of the Muslim world to the detriment of Israel.

And his census will make sure that the time of the Judeo-Christian standards and culture in the land of the free and the home of the brave will come to an end.

The chickens have come home to roost.

Source…

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Joke Of The Day

Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.

They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that read:

'Da End is Near
Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now
Afore It Be Too Late!'

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, 'You religious nuts!'

From the curve they heard screeching tires, and a big splash....

Boudreaux turns to Thibodaux and asks, 'Do ya tink maybe da sign should jus say.....'Bridge Out?'

Cartoon Of The Day

Patches the Horse!

Patches the horse riding around in a car!

Joke Of The Day

Farrah Fawcett died. She went to heaven and God told her that she would be granted one wish. She said she wished that all the children in the world would be safe.


So God killed Michael Jackson.

Cartoon Of The Day: ShamNOW!

GOP's Cap and Tax 8

The Global Warming bill passed the House 219-212, with eight Republicans making the difference and putting the bill over the top even though "No one read this bill." Here they are, the RINOS who voted for the largest tax increase in American history and to send your energy prices sky high:

Mary Bono Mack
Mike Castle
Mark Kirk
Leonard Lance
Frank LoBiondo
John McHugh
Dave Reichert
Chris Smith

Do with them what you will!

Image Source...

Carbongate

We are in the middle of the Progressive Dark Ages where logic, truth and integrity have no value.

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Climate Change: A suppressed EPA study says old U.N. data ignore the decline in global temperatures and other inconvenient truths. Was the report kept under wraps to influence the vote on the cap-and-trade bill?

This was supposed to be the most transparent administration ever. Yet as the House of Representatives prepared to vote on the Waxman-Markey bill, the largest tax increase in U.S. history on 100% of Americans, an attempt was made to suppress a study shredding supporters' arguments.

On Friday, the day of the vote, the Competitive Enterprise Institute said it was releasing "an internal study on climate science which was suppressed by the Environmental Protection Agency."

In the release, the institute's Richard Morrison said "internal EPA e-mail messages, released by CEI earlier in the week, indicate that the report was kept under wraps and its author silenced because of pressure to support the administration's agenda of regulating carbon dioxide."

Reading the report, available on the CEI Web site, we find this "endangerment analysis" contains such interesting items as: "Given the downward trend in temperatures since 1998 (which some think will continue until at least 2030), there is no particular reason to rush into decisions based on a scientific hypothesis that does not appear to explain most of the available data."

What the report says is that the EPA, by adopting the United Nations' 2007 "Fourth Assessment" report, is relying on outdated research by its Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). The research, it says, is "at best three years out of date in a rapidly changing field" and ignores the latest scientific findings.

Besides noting the decline in temperatures as CO2 levels have increased, the draft report says the "consensus" on storm frequency and intensity is now "much more neutral."

Then there's one of Al Gore's grim fairy tales — the melting of the Greenland ice sheet and glaciers the size of Tennessee roaming the North Atlantic. "The idea that warming temperatures will cause Greenland to rapidly shed its ice has been greatly diminished by new results indicating little evidence for operations of such processes," the report says.

Little evidence? Outdated U.N. research? No reason to rush? This is not what the Obama administration and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi were telling us when they were rushing to force a Friday vote on Waxman-Markey. We were given the impression that unless we passed this cap-and-tax fiasco, polar bears would be extinct by the Fourth of July.

We have noted frequently the significance of solar activity on earth's climate and history. This EPA draft report not only confirms our reporting but the brazen incompetence of those "experts" that have been prophesying planetary apocalypse.

"A new 2009 paper by Scafetta and West," the report says, "suggests that the IPCC used faulty solar data in dismissing the direct effect of solar variability on global temperatures. Their report suggests that solar variability could account for up to 68% of the increase in Earth's global temperatures."

The report was the product of Alan Carlin, senior operations research analyst at the EPA's National Center for Environmental Economics (NCEE). He's been with the EPA for 38 years but now has been taken off all climate-related work. He is convinced that actual climate observations do not match climate change theories and that only the politics, not the science, has been settled.

Thomas Fuller, environmental policy blogger with the San Francisco Examiner, wrote Thursday in a story developed in conjunction with Anthony Watts' Web site wattsupwiththat.com: "A source inside the Environmental Protection Agency confirmed many of the claims made by analyst Alan Carlin, the economist/physicist who yesterday went public with accusations that science was being ignored in evaluating the danger of CO2."

All this is particularly interesting because of the charges by Al Gore, NASA's James Hansen and others that the Bush administration and energy companies actively suppressed the truth about climate change.

One of the e-mails unearthed by CEI was dated March 12, from Al McGartland, office director at NCEE, forbidding Carlin from speaking to anyone outside NCEE on endangerment issues such as those in his suppressed report.

Carlin replied on March 16, requesting that his study be forwarded to EPA's Office of Air and Radiation, which directs EPA's climate change program. Carlin points out the peer-reviewed references in his study and points out that the new studies "explain much of the observational data that have been collected which cannot be explained by the IPCC models."

For saying the climate change emperors had no clothes, Carlin was told March 17: "The administrator and the administration have decided to move forward on endangerment, and your comments do not help the legal or policy case for this decision. . . . I can only see one impact of your comments given where we are in the process, and that would be a very negative impact on our office."

In other words, the administration and Congress had their collective minds made up and didn't want to be confused with the facts. They certainly didn't want any inconvenient truths coming out of their own Environmental Protection Agency, the one that wants to regulate everything from your lawn mower to bovine emissions and which says the product of your respiration and ours, carbon dioxide, is a dangerous pollutant and not the basis for all life on earth.

The problem the warm-mongers have is they now are in a position of telling the American people, who are you going to believe — us or your own lying eyes? Forget the snow in Malibu, the record cold winters. Forget that temperatures have dropped for a decade.

In April, President Obama declared that "the days of science taking a back seat to ideology are over." Apparently not, for as he spoke those very words his administration was suppressing science to advance a very pernicious ideology.

Source...

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'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic : Cost - $29.99
Clinton : Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic : The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic : Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic : In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill.

Titanic : During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic : Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let's not go there.

Titanic : Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton : Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic : Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic : Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic : Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

Dinner at the White House - A Parable

Once upon a time, I was invited to the White House for a private dinner with the President. I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces memory chips for computers and portable electronics. There was some talk that my industry was being scrutinized by the administration, but I paid it no mind. I live in a free country. There's nothing that the government can do to me if I've broken no laws. My wealth was earned honestly, and an invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor.

I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and joined the President in a yellow dining room. We sat across from each other at a table draped in white linen. The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed staff served our dinner.

The meal was served, and I was startled when my waiter suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner roll off my plate, and began nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," said the President. "Andrew is very hungry."

"I don't appreciate..." I began, but as I looked into the calm brown eyes across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty. It was just a dinner roll. "Of course," I concluded, and reached for my glass. Before I could, however, another waiter reached forward, took the glass away and swallowed the wine in a single gulp.

"And his brother Eric is very thirsty." said the President.

I didn't say anything. The President is testing my compassion, I thought. I will play along. I don't want to seem unkind.

My plate was whisked away before I had tasted a bite.

"Eric's children are also quite hungry."

With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled out from under me. I stood, brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was carried from the room.

"And their grandmother can't stand for long."

I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool. Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for some game. I reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken. I turned back to the President.

"Their grandfather doesn't like the cold."

I wanted to shout- that was my coat! But again, I looked at the placid smiling face of my host and decided I was being a poor sport. I spread my hands helplessly and chuckled. Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my wallet was gone. I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side table. I learned shortly that my credit cards had been maxed out, my bank accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had vanished, and my wife had been thrown out of our home. Apparently, the waiters and their families were moving in. The President hadn't moved or spoken as I learned all this, but finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face him.

"Andrew's whole family has made bad financial decisions. They haven't planned for retirement, and they need a house. They recently defaulted on a subprime mortgage. I told them they could have your home. They need it more than you do."

My hands were shaking. I felt faint. I stumbled back to the table and knelt on the floor. The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak and drank his wine. I lowered my eyes and stared at the small grey circles on the tablecloth that were water drops.

"By the way," He added, "I have just signed an Executive Order nationalizing your factories. I'm firing you as head of your business. I'll be operating the firm now for the benefit of all mankind. There's a whole bunch of Erics and Andrews out there and they can't come to you for jobs groveling like beggars."

I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin which had been his creme brulee. He drained the last drops of his wine. As the table was cleared, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair. He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if were a ledge and I were a man hanging over an abyss. I thought of the years behind me, of the life I had lived. The life I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and struggle. Why was I punished? How had I allowed it to be taken? What game had I played and lost? I looked across the table and noticed with some surprise that there was no game board between us.

What had I done wrong?

As if answering the unspoken thought, the President suddenly cocked his head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million teeth, chuckling wryly as he folded his hands.

"You should have stopped me at the dinner roll," he said.

Brain Teaser Of The Day

Click to enlarge

There are nine human faces in the picture.
The dog's face doesn't count!

If you find 6, you have ordinary powers of observation.
If you find 7, you have above average powers of observation.
If you find 8, you are very observant. Congratulate yourself.

If you find 9, you are extremely observant, very intuitive, and creative.
You rival the observant powers of Sherlock Holmes!

Joke Of The Day

A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. A short while later, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.

He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without."

Cartoon Of The Day

Joke Of The Day

There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance.

As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke, "Ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out...."Ugh, run, amigo, run!! Ees not a Bacon Tree!"

...

...

...

...

"Ees... a.... Ham bush"

Tallan Latz Blues Guitar Prodigy

Tallan "T-Man" Latz is an nine-year-old Wisconsin boy who has been called a blues guitar prodigy. He been on stage with, Les Paul, Jackson Brown, Buddy Guy, Walter Trout, Albert Cummings, Jonny Lang, Wes Jeans, Lance Lopez, Hubert Sumlin and Greg Koch.

If you ask me, Stevie Ray Vaughan has been reincarnated!

Enjoy!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-old kids, because the last one is a classic!

Don't change horses
until they stop running.

Strike while the
bug is close.

It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.

Never underestimate the power of
termites.

You can lead a horse to water but
How?

Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.

No news is
impossible.

A miss is as good as a
Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new
Math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.

Love all, trust
Me.

The pen is mightier than the
pigs.

An idle mind is
the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's
pollution.

Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.

A penny saved is
not much.

Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
you have to blow your nose.

There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.

You get out of something only what you
see in the picture on the box.

When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.

A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.

Better late than
Pregnant!

John Kerry: 'Too Bad' Palin Didn't Go Missing

It is obvious that Lurch knows the only way for him to get any media attention is to mention Sarah Palin’s name. The sad thing is that if John Kerry went missing, who would really notice?

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U.S. Sen. John Kerry must have been channeling his inner Letterman yesterday.

The Bay State senator was telling a group of business and civic leaders in town at his invitation about the “bizarre’’ tale of how South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford had “disappeared for four days’’ and claimed to be hiking along the Appalachian Trail, but no one was really certain of his whereabouts.

“Too bad,’’ Kerry said, “if a governor had to go missing it couldn’t have been the governor of Alaska. You know, Sarah Palin.’’

The Democratic-centric crowd laughed.

Of course, Kerry couldn’t know that 24-hours later the Sanford story would get even stranger when the Republican governor confessed he had actually been in Argentina over Father’s Day weekend – a long, long way from the Appalachian Trail – and with his paramour, no less.

So if Palin is keeping count of potential GOP presidential rivals, well, another one just bit the dust.

Kerry and David Letterman will just have to cope with that.

Source...

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Cartoon Of The Day: A Young Barack Obama

Cartoon Of The Day: The Second Amendment For Dummies

Brain Teaser Of The Day

See if you can figure out what these words have in common.

1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess

Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try.

Look at each word carefully. You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.

Answer: No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters.

Answer: In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.

Did you figure it out? No? Then send this link to people you know and stump them as well. Then, you'll feel better too.

One of These Photos is Different

Can you spot the difference?

Ronald Reagan working on his Ranch.
George Bush clearing some land on his Ranch in Texas.
Barack Obama hanging curtains

Emotional Car Dealer Tells Story of Losing His Business

Congressional leaders, including Rep. Joe Barton (R-Ennis/Arlington), heard on Friday from several car dealers who recently lost their franchises and then questioned the executives that made the decision to take them away. One dealer who made the trip to the Nations Capital was Ellis County's Frank Tres Blankenbeckler. He runs Carlisle Chevrolet-Cadillac in Waxahachie, which started selling cars in almost 85 years ago, making it the oldest Chevy dealer in the state of Texas.

Cartoon Of The Day: Lead By Example

Joke Of The Day

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A Liter of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A Liter of orange juice,
A head of lettuce,
A can of coffee,
And one pack of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelicts intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly. "

Comparison: Obama on Iran versus Reagan On Poland

What a contrast. Sean Hannity compares and contrasts Barack Obama's weak stand on Iran to Ronald Reagan's support of Polish freedom fighters back in 1981.

Wee the People: Port-a-potty Named for Pelosi

Declaring that "Government Waste Has Got To Go!", the Hampton Roads Tea Party rolled out its porta-potty protest. Tea Party Patriots loaded "named" johns onto their pickups and trailers and toured Virginia Beach and Chesapeake.

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Tea partiers dedicate new thrones to Washington's 'imperial' leaders.

Enthusiastic tea partiers in Virginia have decided to give "imperial leaders" in Washington a seat of power they believe they truly deserve – a portable toilet throne.

Tea party organizer Karen Miner Hurd told WND her group is expecting between 3,000 and 5,000 people at the upcoming June 26 protest at Chesapeake City Park in Chesapeake, Va. While she is excited about the turnout, Hurd has a predicament: She must raise funds for 30 portable toilets on a shoe-string budget.

"How do you tell people you need money for bathrooms?" she asked. "Does that excite or inspire anybody? Not very much."

So Hurd asked taxpayers to sponsor commodes and name them with their least favorite politicians.

"It started growing, and once people started seeing the list of people who were named, I got more and more requests," she said. "People started to love it."

At a June 16 tea party, the group loaded 10 portable johns into trucks and paraded them through three cities – complete with names of politicians who they believe are trying to flush the nation down the toilet.

Read more...

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Cartoon Of The Day

Netanyahu: Iran has Been ‘Unmasked’

Now this is what a leader is supposed to sound like. It is obvious that Benjamin Netanyahu has a large pair of G.O.N.A.D's while Barack Obama is still waiting for his to drop.


Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu discusses the post-election unrest in the Islamic Republic with NBC’s David Gregory on “Meet the Press.”

Cartoon Of The Day: I Don't Like to Meddle

Cartoon Of The Day

Redneck Book of Manners

Aggressive tips from the 'Redneck Book of Manners'

General Tips
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

Dining Out
1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor, as the restaurant may not have dogs.
3. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to “bruise” the fruit of the vine.

Entertaining In Your Home
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table - no matter how good his manners are.

Personal Hygiene
2. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

Dating (Outside The Family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: “I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago.”
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, “Ya sure don't sweat much for a fat gal.”

Theater Etiquette
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

Weddings
1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Driving Etiquette
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
6. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

Fathers Then and Now

Today over 100 years have elapsed since the first Father's Day was celebrated. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it's the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.
Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice."

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE."

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted Sega!"

In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.
Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.

In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool.
Today, he'll get a digital organizer.

In 1900, fathers said, "A man's home is his castle."
Today, they say, "Welcome to the money pit."

In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed for the horses.
Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO.

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald's.

In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.
Today, a father's involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.
Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suitors with shotguns if the girl came home late.
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had that earring?"

In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.
Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.

In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.
Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.

Gun Posters

This just about says it all. Now I wont have to explain my guns and the use of them.

During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!

If you value your freedom, please spread this anti-gun control message to all of your friends.

Cartoon Of The Day: Releasing the Gitmo Inmates

Lesson Of The Day - Never End a Sentence With a Preposition

On my birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, your body will react beyond your imagination, and you can perform as long as you want."

I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' the shaman responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I was the manliest of men.

My wife was so excited she began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.

Cartoon Of The Day

What Happens to Penguins When They Die?

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more.

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: 'Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow.'

FDA Declares Cheerios a Drug

This is total bullshit! I guess General Mills' rivals gave money to Obama’s campaign. Did Kellogg contribute more to him or something?

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President Obama isn't just rewriting rules regulating the environment and the financial markets -- he is also going after the food industry.

Target and example No. 1: Cheerios.

"Based on claims made on your product's label," the FDA said in a letter to manufacturer General Mills, "we have determined (Cheerios) is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug because the product is intended for use in the prevention, mitigation and treatment of disease."

If the government's enforcement action against Cheerios were to hold up, the cereal would be pulled from grocery shelves and consumers would need a prescription to buy a box of those little oats.

That's unlikely, but experts say the message is clear: There is a new sheriff in town and when it comes to false, misleading and exaggerated labeling, you had better clean up your act.

"It is showing us that there is a new era," says dietician and a former advertising executive Ashley Koff. "They are saying, we are coming into town and we are going to show you what will and won't be allowed, and we're going to be going after every single claim, whether it's on a package or in TV."

Bruce Silverglade of the consumer advocacy group, Center for Science in the Public Interest, said it was a welcome and needed change.

"The Obama administration is reversing course, thank goodness, and enforcing the law," he said. "Cheerios was the first target. We hope though the FDA under the Obama administration clamps down on misleading health claims by other food manufacturers as well.

"During the Bush administration the Food and Drug Administration essentially took a policy of non-enforcement and failed to stop what became increasingly exaggerated claims, first by small food companies and by larger and larger food manufacturers," Silverglade told FOX News.

At issue are two claims made by Cheerios on their cereal box.

1. "Cheerios is clinically proven to reduce cholesterol 4 percent in 6 weeks."

2. "Cheerios can help reduce the risk of coronary heart disease, by lowering the 'bad' cholesterol."

Both General Mills and the FDA declined to comment -- but issued statements saying the two sides were in negotiations over the claims that have helped make Cheerios America's best-selling cereal, amounting to one of every 8 boxes of cereal sold in the U.S.

General Mills is a titan of the food business with an army of lawyers. If the FDA can make it back down, others will follow.

"If I were an industry member and I saw what happened with Cheerios, I would look at this example and say the FDA is going after General Mills," said Koff. "If I'm a maker of a small product I better start to look at any study that I am basing my claims on and what I put on my packaging."

Koff argued that the General Mills study was suspect, as the company paid for the research and two staff members helped author it. That is not the type of rigorous, double-blind, peer-reviewed science necessary to back up drug claims.

"What we are seeing today is a government that understands that the obesity problem in America and the disease that is everywhere in America is not solely a consumer responsibility nor is it solely a marketer responsibility," said Koff, who agrees with the FDA action, but said there are many other more egregious cases on store shelves.

Consumers outside a Los Angeles grocery store were less supportive of a move some called "silly" and heavy-handed.

"No, Cheerios should not be regulated by the FDA, because this is not a drug."

Source...

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Make Mine Freedom

You won't believe how relevant this cartoon from 1948 is today! It uses humor to tout the dangers of Communism and the benefits of Capitalism. It is one in a series of films created by the Extension Department of Harding College, to "create a deeper understanding of what has made America the finest place in the world to live." Unfortunately all that has made America great is being ripped apart by the arrogant and utterly corrupt politicians that supposedly represent us in Washington.

This should be shown in every school across America. Pass it on.



Hat tip Flopping Aces

Joke Of The Day: Dancing is Forbidden

A "modern" Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their Mullah for counselling. The man asks, "We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men & women always dance separately."

"So I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," said the Mullah, "It is forbidden"

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah ho Akbar! Sex is OK, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"Allah ho Akbar! No problem," says the Mullah.

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah ho Akbar. Go for it!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Allah ho Akbar!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! Allah ho Akbar!"

"Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. Allah ho Akbar!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No." says the Mullah."

"Why not?" asks the man.

"Because that could lead to dancing!"

Bumper Sticker Of The Day

Somewhere in Kenya, A Village is Missing Its Idiot Bumper Sticker

Ahmed and Salim

These videos do not make fun of Muslims, they make fun of terrorists... which as we all know, are all a bunch of assholes! Please do not watch these if you are easily offended!

Episode 1

Episode 2

Cartoon Of The Day: ABC Shills

Glenn Beck Gives Gerald Walpin a Senility Test

Gerald Walpin, the Inspector General Obama recently fired amidst much scandal speculation, appears on Glenn Beck. Beck tests the Obama administration’s claim that Walpin is senile.

Enjoy!


Previously:
Evaluation: Gerald Walpin Slams Obama For "Most Incredible Smear"

Gerald Walpin Slams Obama For "Most Incredible Smear"

Obama fires Gerald Walpin for "no" reason. He was just doing his job investigating AmeriCorps money that went to a community group called St. HOPE Academy, which was founded by Kevin Johnson, former point guard of the Phoenix Suns, who was elected Mayor of Sacramento last November, and who just happens to be a buddy of Obama's. Does it not seem strange that Obama would fire someone who was investigating a friend of his?

Anyone who paid attention to the election last year knows what is happening; it's called Chicago politics at its finest. And it seems that Obama is a pro at it. Does Obama think that he can get away with something like this? The answer is yes.

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Fired inspector general Gerald Walpin slammed Barack Obama today for the "most incredible smear."

Last week, Dear Leader fired inspector general Gerald Walpin after he identified millions of dollars in AmeriCorps funds that were wasted or misspent. The man in charge of Americorps is a top Obama supporter and friend. Mayor Kevin Johnson used AmeriCorps grants to pay volunteers to engage in school-board political activities, run personal errands for Johnson and even wash his car.

Today Team Obama said he was "confused" and had to be fired!!

Walpin responded:

"I think for them to say that I was disoriented was an amazing, amazing slinging of mud... Frankly what they're saying, anybody who knows me and everybody who knows me and those people who've heard me on television, those people who've heard me on radio, know that this is the most incredible smear that has ever occurred to someone only because he's standing up to the most powerful machine on earth."

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