Friday, September 30, 2011
13 Dogs Skipping Rope
Uchida Geinousha and her Tsukuba City-based Super 'Wan Wan Circus' currently hold the Guinness World Record for the most dogs jumping rope at the same time.
The Taking Tree
Video Description:
"We need more, Tree"... "Give us more, Tree"
What if our economy was a tree from which politicians could just take and take and take? When would they stop?
WOULD they stop?
The Taking Tree parodies Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree" and follows these burning questions to their logical conclusion.
Random Riddle
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What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left over?
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The World's Biggest Employers
ONE of the biggest headaches for policymakers in many rich countries has been how to create jobs during a period of fiscal austerity and anaemic growth. The private sector has been slow to generate jobs, and government-spending cuts usually end up cutting jobs. And governments employ a lot of people: in our chart of the ten biggest global employers, below, seven are government-run. America's defence department had 3.2m people on its payroll last year, equivalent to 1% of the country's population. China, the world's most populous nation and a big military spender, employs 2.3m people in its armed forces. And the number of people working for the National Health Service in England is equivalent to over 2.5% of the country's population. The three private companies are Walmart, McDonald's and Taiwan's Hon Hai Precision Industry Company, a subsidiary of which is Foxconn, a secretive electronics manufacturer.
Source...
Tiger: Beware of Dog?
Video Description:
The tiger and dog have been raised together since they were nine weeks old, they have become inseparable friends. They play together all the time and neither one of them has ever been injured.
Random Riddle
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The marathon man timed himself and found out that if he wore a bright white outfit he ran 20 miles in 80 minutes, but when he wore a dark outfit, he ran 20 miles in one hour and twenty minutes.
What does this mean for his next race?
What does this mean for his next race?
Joke Of The Day
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one."
"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough."
"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.
The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Toilet Humor
Enjoy!
Video Description:
Video Description:
Graham Norton and guests prank some women using a remote fart machine and microphones... oh yeah, in a PUBLIC RESTROOM!
World’s Greatest Drag Race!
Video Description
With an empty airstrip and eleven of the best drivers cars in the world, we put on the world's greatest drag race.
Random Riddle
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It starts cars.
It helps make juice.
It usually finishes a topic.
What is it?
It helps make juice.
It usually finishes a topic.
What is it?
Joke Of The Day
Q: You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a Politician. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?A: You shoot the Politician. Twice.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Did Americans in 1776 Have British Accents?
Have you ever wondered if the Founding Fathers spoke with a British accent? I know I have. Well here is the answer.
Reading David McCullough’s 1776, I found myself wondering: Did Americans in 1776 have British accents? If so, when did American accents diverge from British accents?
The answer surprised me.
I’d always assumed that Americans used to have accents similar to today’s British accents, and that American accents diverged after the Revolutionary War, while British accents remained more or less the same.
Americans in 1776 did have British accents in that American accents and British accents hadn’t yet diverged. That’s not too surprising.
What’s surprising, though, is that those accents were much closer to today’s American accents than to today’s British accents. While both have changed over time, it’s actually British accents that have changed much more drastically since then.
First, let’s be clear: the terms “British accent” and “American accent” are oversimplifications; there were, and still are, innumerable constantly-evolving regional British and American accents. What most Americans think of as “the British accent” is the standardized Received Pronunciation, also known as “BBC English.”
While there are many differences between today’s British accents and today’s American accents, perhaps the most noticeable difference is rhotacism. While most American accents are rhotic, the standard British accent is non-rhotic. (Rhotic speakers pronounce the ‘R’ sound in the word “hard.” Non-rhotic speakers do not.)
So, what happened?
In 1776, both American accents and British accents were largely rhotic. It was around this time that non-rhotic speech took off in southern England, especially among the upper class. This “prestige” non-rhotic speech was standardized, and has been spreading in Britain ever since.
Most American accents, however, remained rhotic.
There are a few fascinating exceptions: New York and Boston accents became non-rhotic. Irish and Scottish accents are still rhotic.
If you’d like to learn more, this passage in The Cambridge History of the English Language is a good place to start.
Source...
Drive Recklessly
Video Description:
How important is it that you watch this Midnight Show PSA? Let us put it this way: millions of lives depend on it.
Random Riddle
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What starts out white, ends black and is always rolling?
Monday, September 26, 2011
The Ten Commandments According to Obama
I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.)
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore.
III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama.
IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money.
VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you’ve been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives.
IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian.
X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet.
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore.
III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama.
IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money.
VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you’ve been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives.
IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian.
X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet.
Random Riddle
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When liquid splashes me, none seeps through. When I am moved alot, liquid I spew. When I am hit, color I change. And color, I come in quite a range. What I cover is very complex, and I am very easy to flex.
What am I?
What am I?
Joke Of The Day
Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. The first room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. Bill Clinton, not keen on this, asks to see the next room.
The next room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire.
Bill Clinton immediately asks to see the third room. It has an really old guy chained to the wall getting oral sex from a gorgeous blonde.
Bill Clinton jumps at the chance and takes the room.
The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder and says "okay, you can stop now. You've been relieved".
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Random Riddle
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It is what you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
Joke Of The Day
Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?A: He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Random Riddle
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I bought it and it is costly,
But I use it for hanging only.
But I use it for hanging only.
Joke Of The Day
Q: Why was O.J. considering moving to West Virginia?A: Everyone's DNA there is the same.
Friday, September 23, 2011
United States of Football
This was the first in an ongoing series of plotting the United States based on a census of sports fans.
Using the census data, I redraw state lines based on fan affiliations.
Source...
Absolutely Quackers! Meet the Duck Who Goes Shopping
Video Description:
Barrie Hayman has a new best friend - an 11 week-old duck that follows him everywhere he goes, down the shops or into the pub.
Joke Of The Day
One day a daddy shark and a baby shark were swimming. Next, the baby shark told the daddy that he was very hungry, so the daddy said, "Let's swim to that group of people just off shore, and we will swim around them 8 times."
The baby shark looked puzzled and asks, "Why do we need to swim 8 times around the people?"
Daddy replied, "That way we can scare the shit out of them and then they taste a little better!"
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Understanding UN Bias Against Israel
Video Description:
The United Nations has made the democratic State of Israel the target of incessant condemnation while neglecting its mandate in challenging the oppressive regimes around the world.
The following film clip uncovers the factors behind the UN's bias against Israel. We encourage you to view the clip, forward to friends, and partner with us to counter the hypocrisy and expose the truth.
Join us September 21, 2011 in holding the United Nations accountable for its actions at a pro-Israel demonstration as the UN launches its third World Conference against Racism (Durban III). The event will take place opposite the UN Headquarters in Dag Hammershald Plaza, NYC at 11:00 AM. We hope to see you there.
Sheeped Away
Enjoy!
Video Description:
Video Description:
Sheeped Away tells the tale of a farmer who just wants to be with his beloved sheep. When a giant UFO enters his life to claim his sheep, what will he do to keep them safe from harm? And can he do this without waking his monstrous wife?
The whole point of making “Sheeped Away” was to make a tribute of sorts, to the old American cartoons I grew up with. They were not necessarily made for children but neither were they unwatchable for them. I wanted to make something just like that; something for both adults and kids. And adult kids like me.
It was a difficult process of 7 long months, but with the help of a lot of awesome talented people, I made it. I can’t thank them enough.
Random Riddle
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I control the sea but cannot touch it,
I am bound by time but do not keep it,
I am alone but surrounded by many.
What am I?
I am bound by time but do not keep it,
I am alone but surrounded by many.
What am I?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.
She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.
After eating them for a week she notices two things. Firstly, her lips are full and glossy, unchapped, uncracked, and require absolutely no lip gloss to make them look full and pouty.
Secondly, she has really awful bad breath, and even her cat won't come near her.
Pleased with her lips, however, and spotting a money-making idea, she contacts a big cosmetics company and explains about the lip-enhancing qualities of her cauliflower crop.
After a month of testing, the company buys the entire crop of cauliflowers for a phenomenal amount and requests that Mary grow some more as soon as possible.
The company proceeds to make lipstick out of them but experiences problems in the the final product manufacture. The lipstick does not gel correctly into a solid stick and ends up crumbling upon application. Quality controllers also find that, even as a lipstick, the bad breath remains and have to put it down as an unfortunate side effect.
As they are nearing their production deadline and adverts for this new wonder lip enhancer have hit the streets, the cosmetics company has no choice but to produce the packaging with the following caution.
Poppins' Pop-up Lip Enhancer:
SUPER CAULI, FRAGILE LIPSTICK - EXPECT-HALITOSIS
She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.
After eating them for a week she notices two things. Firstly, her lips are full and glossy, unchapped, uncracked, and require absolutely no lip gloss to make them look full and pouty.
Secondly, she has really awful bad breath, and even her cat won't come near her.
Pleased with her lips, however, and spotting a money-making idea, she contacts a big cosmetics company and explains about the lip-enhancing qualities of her cauliflower crop.
After a month of testing, the company buys the entire crop of cauliflowers for a phenomenal amount and requests that Mary grow some more as soon as possible.
The company proceeds to make lipstick out of them but experiences problems in the the final product manufacture. The lipstick does not gel correctly into a solid stick and ends up crumbling upon application. Quality controllers also find that, even as a lipstick, the bad breath remains and have to put it down as an unfortunate side effect.
As they are nearing their production deadline and adverts for this new wonder lip enhancer have hit the streets, the cosmetics company has no choice but to produce the packaging with the following caution.
Poppins' Pop-up Lip Enhancer:
SUPER CAULI, FRAGILE LIPSTICK - EXPECT-HALITOSIS
Random Riddle
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This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.
What am I?
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.
What am I?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
How to Build a 2/5 th scale Sherman Tank
This is the first part of an instructional video on how to a build 1:2.5 scale drivable Sherman Tank. If anyone would like further info on this tank, go to www.scaledtanks.com. This is a new site just set up in the US and it covers, apart from my videos, comments and features on the subject of large scale tanks from all over the world. Join up now and all your questions will be answered.
I'm Rich!
Silver in the Hair
Gold in the Teeth
Crystals in the Kidneys
Sugar in the Blood
Lead in the Arse
Iron in the Arteries
And
An inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.
I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth, now I can buy that gold-plated yacht and the Bentley.
Gold in the Teeth
Crystals in the Kidneys
Sugar in the Blood
Lead in the Arse
Iron in the Arteries
And
An inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.
I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth, now I can buy that gold-plated yacht and the Bentley.
Random Riddle
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How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Joke Of The Day
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
Monday, September 19, 2011
Dog Thinks He's an Elephant
Video Description:
Fred howling at the elephant on the kitchen towel advert!
Don't Trust Your Hotel Room Safe
Video Description:
The safe in our hotel room can be opened with all zeros.
Random Riddle
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I’m named after nothing, though I’m awfully clamorous.
And when I’m not working, your house is less glamorous.
What am I?
And when I’m not working, your house is less glamorous.
What am I?
Joke Of The Day
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?""It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?"
"That's my business! Get me the course!"
Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?"
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, "One less lawyer . . ."
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Dr. Seuss's Technical Manual
What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
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